The Female Eye By Isabelle Belice

i'm not sure how old i was when i realized the cruelty of men

maybe it was when i was first touched

back when i thought touch equated to love

trust and faith

or maybe it was when i started growing a chest

and all the men would stare and yell

as i held my favorite disney backpack close

a barrier

maybe it was when i believed men held the capabilities of genuine friendship

before i learned they always had to take

friendship never came for free

it cost me my soul

and yet he walked away

untouched

maybe it was when i realized

all the blame i held onto my mother

hatred fueled by her supposed wrong doings of my father

her kindness and patience towards me

towards him

his quickness to bash her

was the doing of my father

the reason behind the pain of no parental guidance in my youth

maybe it was when i got into my first real relationship

quickly realizing the truths of my mothers warnings

when i gave him all my fragile mind and soul had to offer

only for the new and shiny to catch his gaze

and have his love unveil in front of my eyes

letting me crash and flame away

without a single sense of remorse

maybe it was when i still attempted to provide him with all the care one could give

without a single sense of appreciation thrown upon me

maybe it was when i realized i am nothing but a woman

only deserving of their respect when i wear crop tops and lashes

when i look my best and never at my worst

when i offer them my body as a way of thanks for their mere actions

when the benefits no longer exist for them to reap

all sense of respect and admiration disintegrates without a thought

i'm not sure how old i was when i realized the cruelty of men

5, 13,17,19

21,30,50

infinitely experiencing the cruelty produced

by those produced by me

and my mother

and the infinite circle of the creators of life